


If they knew all about you (they'd end up loving you too)

by Indehed



Series: Lullaby Bay [1]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-09
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2018-03-17 03:51:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3514337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Indehed/pseuds/Indehed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny may not have been entirely truthful about what happened in Colombia. Or about himself. After disappearing back East for a year, he comes home to Honolulu to explain why he left, and he brought something extra with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LandonRichardson](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LandonRichardson/gifts).



> I know, I know, I know.... I'm in the middle of writing one of my trademark angst fests, but I can do fluff sometimes too! I've been thinking about this since I saw 5x18, and that I'm sure things happened in prison that we'd never see on screen. This is my weird take on the aftermath.

It had been a year since he'd seen Steve.

After he was brought back home from that Colombian prison, he'd hoped his life could return to normal. That he'd be able to let go of the guilt that he'd been holding onto for almost a year, but the nightmares had come thick and fast in the aftermath and he'd become moody and angry. He felt like he'd spent half his time apologizing to everyone after blowing up at them. 

After a few months, he'd begun to feel physically different, low in his stomach. At first he thought the nausea was solely to do with his nightmares and mood swings. He had no idea what the feeling was - he'd never experienced anything like it before. It wasn't painful, it was just… there was something different. And the moment his mind provided him with a possible answer, he knew he was right.

And he cried. Because he wasn't prepared for it. 

He'd broken down, called his mom, and the next day, someone from the Clinic showed up at his door, helped him pack and he was gone and on a plane headed back East before anyone could stop him.

Over the year he'd had so much help. He couldn't fault the Clinic for what they provided him with. He'd spent a lot of time with therapists, he'd come to terms with what he had done and what had happened in the prison, but he'd had to wait to put the last of his fears to bed. Whether or not what had been done to him in prison had had unexpected consequences.

All of Five-0 had flown out to see him. A few times. But he always refused to see them and would give not much more than a few words down a phone line to let them know he was alive and well but that he wasn't ready for anything else and he didn't want them to know where he was.

Steve had been the worst and he'd expected that. Not knowing where Danny was hurt him, and Danny knew that if the situation was reversed, he'd be just as pissed and worried. It had been left to his mother to sort that mess out and she filled him in constantly about it. She'd tried to have Danny talk to Steve, tell him what was going on, especially if it involved him as much as… well as much as she hoped it did. As much as Danny hoped, too, but refused to think about and instead went to the worst case scenario. Better to expect the worst, be prepared for it.

Eventually, Steve had been persuaded to go back to Hawaii, to stop loitering in the front room of Clara and Eddie's house and to let Danny deal with whatever it was on his own terms, with the promise that when he was ready, he'd tell Steve everything. 

And here he was, a year down the line, barely having spoken to Steve in months as the steady stream of inquiries had died down. He was beginning to wonder if Steve had given up or moved on or… he wouldn't blame him, either way.

It had been a year, after all.

And now that deadline he'd given himself for staying away had been reached and he was facing the consequences of his deliberate exile.

He'd been surrounded, for the last year, by people who thought him special, who took care of him and treated him so well that he'd wished he could have stayed. But he had a life to return to. Or try to. He had a daughter he needed to spend more time with. Being away from her had been the worst part and no amount of daily Skype conversations could make up for not hugging her in person. She'd been allowed to visit - she was the only one besides his parents he'd seen - but it was difficult to bring her from Oahu or Vegas so often, and Danny had wanted to ease her into what was going on. It had taken time for him to explain everything to her, but she was on board, she was happy. Everyone around him so far had been.

And even though there had been a collective sigh of relief when tests had been carried out, he was still apprehensive. He'd hidden a big thing from Steve and from his friends, and he couldn't go to them expecting open arms. He expected shock. Anger. Worry. Doubt. Emotions he'd only directed internally at himself for a year while others around him were buzzing with excitement. He knew now would be the time he'd see them on other people's faces.

A year.

He sighed as he got out of his rental car outside the Palace, told his mom to wait here and not come in under any circumstances and hugged his precious load close to him as he swallowed his nerves.

When he walked in the door, it was to see everyone standing around the computer table, staring at mug shots on the overhead screens and debating whether or not there was another accomplice.

"The place looks the same," he said by way of greeting, and was met with shocked smiles from all but one. Because although Steve's first reaction had been one of joy, he'd then frowned, remembered he was mad at Danny for disappearing with no explanation and shut down, refusing to show emotion until things were sorted. 

The bundle in Danny's arms whimpered and he adjusted the hold he had, bouncing him a little, brightening up his face.

Kono was right over, hugging Danny's side. "Oh my God, Danny, you're here. What… who's this?" She smiled at the baby in Danny's arms, reaching out to tickle under his chin. 

"Everyone, I want you to meet Leo. My son."

"You…. you've been gone a year, and in that time you had a son?" Chin asked, reaching out and taking Leo from Danny's grasp, making faces at him as he held him up.

"He's the reason I left. The minute I found out, I had to go."

"Where's Amber?" Kono asked, cooing over Leo like he was the cutest thing she'd ever seen in her life. 

"Excuse me?"

"She's his mother, right? I mean, she's the last person you were with?" Lou put in, standing a little more to the side, but as a father himself, he couldn't resist the baby.

Steve was still hanging back, keeping the table and ten feet of space between himself and Danny. Though Danny had kept glancing over to him, his attention was brought back to the others when they brought up an elusive mother. He didn't blame them for not understanding straight away, after all, when it came to his kids, he'd always follow them and they knew it, and were assuming the same here.

"No, no, I didn't knock anybody up. The opposite. Leo is _**my**_ son. _I_ carried him. I've been holed up at the Men's Health Clinic in New York."

"But…" Kono looked back at him confused. "No, you can't be. You never said."

"You're a cop," Chin put in, frowning at Danny but plastering a smile back on his face as he turned to the baby in his arms again.

"I always kept it a secret. I didn't put it on my Police Academy forms or they'd never let me in. Hell, even my sisters didn't know until recently, only my mom and dad and the doctors I saw when I was younger. I'm sorry, guys, but I never wanted to be treated differently. I don't believe in all that mumbo jumbo about how men who can carry children are so special. Rare or not, I don't think it's some gift from God. I think it's biology, nothing more. I spent my life on control and suppressants just in case but," he shrugged. "I never expected this to happen."

"It still takes two," Steve finally spoke from where he was holding back, eyes dark, unsure whether he should be angry at Danny or not. "Who were you with? Who's the father?"

Danny took his time, moved to Chin and The Squirmer was handed back over. He kissed his baby's head, rubbed his back and walked closer to where Steve was, table still between them. "You are."

Steve stood straighter, his eyes widening in shock, disbelief, confusion, relief. It was a lot to take in, Danny knew this, and he wanted to ease everyone into the new information but sometimes, everything just came out at once and then they could worry about the fallout. It was one of those things he'd come to terms with after months of therapy.

"Leo, meet your other daddy," he lifted Leo's hand and gave Steve a little wave with it, Leo gurgling a laugh as his face pressed into the side of Danny's.

"But…. how…." Steve stumbled and stuttered.

"We're going to give you some space, go talk to these low lives while you sort all this out," Lou put in, grabbed Kono's collar and Chin helped pull her away from what was probably going to be an interesting show if she'd been allowed to stay. It was curiosity, he could forgive her that. He was also thankful for the alone time with Steve, but the butterflies in his stomach were crowding and getting impatient.

He sighed. "Well, we were… occasionally. And I always tried to be careful but I know I got stupid sometimes when we were drunk or tired after a case and the odds were so low that I figured everything was okay and I couldn't get… you know. But hey, turns out I was wrong about that," he gestured to where Leo's head was resting on his shoulder. "But he's perfect, and I don't regret having him."

"Why run? Why not stay? Or tell me? Did you think I wouldn't support you? That I wouldn't have wanted to be there for the birth of my own son? Damnit, Danny!" his voice rose as he continued, but he shushed himself when he saw Leo get agitated.

"You have no idea how guilty I feel about that," Danny threw in. "I know you, Steve. I know you'd have turned the world upside down for me if you'd known. It wasn't about that. I never questioned how much you'd love a child of your own, no matter how he came to be."

"Then why?" Steve all but begged of him. "Why hide it? Why make me miss out on the the birth, on bonding… on being with you while you carried him?"

"Because I didn't know, Steve. I didn't… please, just. Do the math. Work it out for yourself. Leo is just about five months old. When I left I wasn't sure how far along I was but it wasn't more than two months, and I'd been back from Colombia for about that length of time." He let the information sink in, saw the tears shining in Steve's eyes and knew he'd worked it out. "I didn't know. Not until he was born."

"God. Danny. You never said," Steve's voice was rough, on the verge, everything, all this new information bandying around in his brain was confusing him, was too much. Danny could see him struggling for his control. 

"I didn't want anyone to worry. And I didn't want to think about it myself, let alone talk about it. When I realized I was pregnant I just… I shut down. Okay? I didn't know if he was the product of love or… something else. And you know how the media gets over male pregnancies, I couldn't risk this getting out. Not back then. Not when the public might have thought I was giving birth to a devil child or something, born of prison rape."

"I'd have stood by you," Steve said, adamant, but it was all very well in hindsight.

"Are you so sure?" Danny asked. "I know you mean what you say now, but I couldn't take that risk. Tell me you understand that much, please."

"I don't know, Danny. This is a lot, it's…"

"I wanted to tell you the minute the tests came back, but the Clinic, they wanted me to take my time, they said I was rushing and they wanted to give Leo time to develop. People like me are rare, plumbing and all, but having the kids survive once they're born, we all know that's a difficult thing too. I never understood the science behind it, but I know this whole thing is seen as a miracle for a reason. I didn't want to tell you about what had been going on, have you fly out, bond, get to know this little man and have him taken away from us. I didn't want anyone else to have that burden but me."

"You shouldn't have made these decisions without me. I had a right to know."

"I won't blame the trauma, that's a cop out, but I dunno, I guess I felt guilty over everything… killing Reyes like I did. I saw what happened to me in prison as punishment and for a while I really did think he wasn't going to be yours. I felt like I had to be sure about everything before I introduced you, had to know he was healthy and happy and that I was in a good place. And I am. This little guy?" he bounced Leo in his arms again, getting a delighted squeal in return. "He makes things better."

"He's so little," Steve said, almost in awe, unable to tear his eyes away from the son he didn't know he had until now.

"Yeah, he came out that way. Maybe he got that gene from me. And this hair," he ran his fingers over the dusty blond wisps pointing in all directions. "He got that from me, too but his iron grip - seriously, he's got some strength in him - I'm blaming you for that."

"May I?" Steve smiled, eyes still brimming with unshed tears from a rush of emotions he couldn't entirely handle. 

"Yeah, yes, of course," Danny came around the table and lifted Leo in his arms so that Steve could take over. He rolled his shoulders to get the slight ache out of them as he watched Steve get to know his son for the first time. 

"Hey, buddy, hey," he said softly, leaning his head closer to where Leo was staring wide eyed at him. "I'm your daddy. How about that, huh?" He bounced Leo, tickled him, making him yelp in delight and then wiped at drool from the corner of his mouth. "I'm a dad," he said again, in a dawning understanding.

"How about that, huh?" he repeated Steve's words back to him. "Bet you never expected it to happen like this."

"I never expected it at all. I never really thought I'd be in the same place long enough or find someone willing to put up with me and have a family."

Danny wasn't even sure how to answer that at first, he jutted his head forward and took a second to consider it. "Maybe you sold yourself a little short there, buddy."

"Maybe," Steve turned his big smile to Danny and sidled closer, turning his attention back to Leo again. "Hey, little guy, you've got two daddies now who are going to love you very much."

"So you're okay with this?" Danny hedged.

"I'm not happy that he was kept from me, I know we probably have to do more talking about that but you came home, you brought this amazing little man with you… I'm a little overwhelmed but it's… amazing. Just… amazing," he repeated the word, unable to put it any other way. He reached out to the back of Danny's shoulder, skirting the hold to the back of his neck and pulled him closer for a kiss.

Danny let it happen, put it down to Steve's excitement and pressed a hand to twine with Steve's on Leo's back. When he pulled back he looked up at him, a little bewildered. "What was that for?"

"Just happy," he answered. "We've got so much to do, we'll need to sort out a room for him. And Grace will need one, too, I assume she'll be staying with us a lot. Baby proofing, we need baby proofing. How much stuff has he got already? If you've only just left the Clinic there's no way he has things like a cot or, does he have a stroller yet? Maybe Mary can give us some of Joan's old things."

"Steve, whoa, hold on, slow down, what are you doing?" He asked, not sure what was happening, what was Steve expecting to happen here?

"Planning. This is good, we can- Oh, do we need to think about schools yet? Or preschool? They have to get enrolled really fast these days, right?"

"Babe, you're getting ahead of yourself, we still need to name him let alone think about your house."

"But, you called him Leo, I'm confused," he turned to the wriggling boy in his arms again. A boy who was fiddling with the collar of his shirt. "Hey, Leo, hey, my baby, we're going to get you all set up at home, that's right."

"No, wait. Yes, I call him Leo but I thought of that as his middle name. His first, I didn't want to finalize without talking it over with you. I thought you should get a say in it. I mean, I have some ideas but it's a big decision. Can be, anyway."

"So what were your ideas?" Steve moved away, heading into his office and trying to find something that could occupy Leo's time, picking up things on his desk and discarding them as too dangerous for a baby. He settled for sitting on the couch, putting Leo down and letting him pick at the button holes on the leather. 

"Well," Danny said, taking his hands out of his pockets as he sat on the other side of their baby. "When Rachel and I had Grace, you know we named her after my old partner. I wanted to honor a woman I loved very much and I wanted my new daughter to have a namesake to look up to."

"So what were you thinking?"

"We have a boy. And I thought maybe we should name him after someone similar in your life. Someone you loved and admired and who was a hero. I thought maybe we'd call him Freddie." He wasn't sure what Steve's response was going to be, but he nodded, his beaming smile still stuck on his face like it was never going to leave it ever again.

"Freddie. I like it. But I've already got used to thinking of him as Leo."

"Plenty of people go by their middle names. As he gets older, he can tell us what he prefers, right? But it's nice symmetry and I like that it means something."

"Freddie Leo McGarrett."

"Ah, Freddie Leo Williams-McGarrett. I carried this little watermelon for months. I get my family name in there, too. Besides, when they started putting together birth certificate stuff, I didn't know if you'd want to be in his life so…"

"Danny, stop it, please, how could you think I wouldn't fall in love with this little man the minute I saw him? He's like a little mini you, how could I resist?"

Danny laughed as he picked Leo up onto his lap facing Steve. He sobered when he considered everything Steve seemed to be getting carried away with. 

"Look, my mom is outside in the car. I cracked the window, she's fine," he threw in as a joke. "We're going to go back to my place, start fixing it back up, I know you guys checked in on it while I was away and there was a cleaning service my mom hired to stop by, but I need to get back and start setting it up for Leo. Like you said, gotta make things baby proof."

"What are you talking about, just go grab some stuff and head to mine. It makes the most sense. You have a lease, I own mine outright, there's no mortgage so-"

"Steve, we're not moving in with you," he closed his eyes as he cut Steve off, worried about what Steve would think of this, of Danny derailing his dream plans that were getting too carried away. He'd been back on Oahu a matter of hours after being away for a year, he didn't expect to fall into Steve's arms with a baby and for them to live happily ever after. He didn't even know if that was the ideal he even wanted for them.

"What are you talking about?" Steve frowned now, his smile and happiness dissipating, not sure what to expect. 

"We need to take this slow. I'm not going back East, don't worry. I'd like to be able to come back to work and pick up my life again where I left it, but that didn't include you and me playing happy families. You're important to me and I love you very much, but we only just began sleeping together when I left, we hadn't told anyone."

"But we have Leo to think about."

"We do," Danny agreed. "And the best thing for him, is for us to know we're doing the right thing. I know you want to spend all your time with him, I get it, I really do. You know what I went through with Grace and I don't want you to ever think you can't spend as much of your time with Leo as possible. And maybe down the line a little we'll get to the moving in and stuff, but right now? We need to be patient. We still need to talk about what happened, my leaving, Colombia, all of it. Once that's out of the way and we're good? Then we can move forward with those giant steps you want to take."

Steve looked down, saddened. He never was patient, he never did like to compromise or be sensible really. He was the epitome of shoot first and ask questions later and Danny fully understood how Steve felt about this. Clearly he was overwhelmed by what had happened today - learning he had a son, learning more of what happened to Danny in Colombia, having Danny simply waltz back in the door after a year away. He wiped his nose and nodded along, because what else was he going to do? "Yeah, yeah, that makes sense."

"All those things you want to do? Setting up a room for Leo at your place? That's still a great idea. He'll be spending a lot of time there, even if he doesn't spend it _**all**_ there. Yet," he added at the end, allowing Steve his hope, because maybe it would happen. A big part of Danny really did want it to, but he'd spent a lot of time talking this through with therapists who kept telling him to slow down and think about things before rushing in or assuming something might happen when it might not.

"I can get started straight away. You'll see, it's going to be great. He's going to have the best bedroom ever," Steve leaned over towards his son, making faces, making him laugh again and Leo reached out for him, his instincts perfect when it came to identifying his dad.

"You have a case," Danny pointed out as watched Leo play with Steve.

"So do you," Steve responded. "You just said you wanted to come back so you're back. Lou's been a great partner but he moans more than you do when I drive."

"Okay," Danny said. "So you're re-hiring me?"

"Like you've never been away."

"Nice. So I'm immediately putting in for paternity leave, so I guess this case will have to be solved without me." He stood and picked Leo out of Steve's arms. "I am going to go home with my mother, God help me, and Grace is coming home next week once we've got things sorted. I'm assuming you'll be over for dinner tonight."

"The minute I can get out of here, I'll be coming to see you guys," Steve stood alongside them, not wanting to let this moment end, but knowing things had to be done, like criminals needing caught while Danny got Leo home and down for his nap. 

"Feel free to bring the others. I know everyone has questions."

"Maybe tomorrow," Steve smiled, his hand smoothing over Leo's head. "I think tonight should be just us." He leaned down, brushing kisses over the little one's head, unable to tear himself away until finally he lifted up just enough to kiss Danny again. And again. Light pecks similar to those he'd placed on Leo. 

"Okay," Danny said and they stared at each other and Steve let Leo keep a grip on his finger for long moments. "Okay," Danny said again, cleaning his throat and then lifting Leo, giving a sniff. "Okay, that's not good, I gotta go sort this out."

"And I've got to help catch these guys," he gave one last forlorn look at Danny and Leo, kissed Leo's head one more time and then let them go.

When Danny got back to the car, he found his mother leaning against the passenger side. He handed Leo over to her while he bent down to the back seat where the diaper bag was. 

"Well, how did it go? Tell me he's okay with all of this."

"He's fine. He's happy," Danny answered, taking Leo back and planning on heading into the Palace quickly to change him. 

"Did he fall in love the second he saw this cutie-patootie? Everyone does," she beamed, the proud grandmother that she was. 

"Yes, he did," Danny confirmed. "And he's coming by as soon as their case wraps and I doubt he's going to let me or the little bear out of his sight for a while. You've met him, you know how he is."

"That's good, Danny. I've been telling you he's a keeper."

"Don't plan the wedding just yet," Danny threw over his shoulder as he headed back in to the bathrooms. 

"Why not?"

"Because I said so!"

A newly changed and fresh smelling Leo accompanied Danny back out ten minutes later, was loaded into his car seat and Clara sat in the back to entertain him while Danny drove them home. 

It felt strange to be back. A mixture of old and new that couldn't quite reconcile itself in his head, but he knew it would eventually. He had a daughter he loved who was growing up an absolute angel, he had a new son that had him wrapped around his little finger and was the most adorable baby since, well, since Grace, and he and Steve were what… dating?

Time would tell what might happen there but he was looking forward to it. And the hard part was over - he'd come clean, he'd told Steve he had a son. Now they could move forward.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It got a little angsty I apologize. All fluff from now on. I added this bit on as an extra chapter rather than a new story, it flows better for this one.

Steve had shown up for dinner at a decent time and had proceeded to not pay attention to what he was eating, favoring instead getting to feed Leo and play with him while he did it and making a mess all over the high chair. Danny couldn't be angry, even if it did mean clean up. That would have been necessary regardless and he was used to it, he just had to make sure Steve did the cleaning, after all, it was _his_ mess and having kids wasn't just about playing with them and teaching them new things. 

Steve would learn that soon enough when he was too tired to function in the mornings because of midnight and 3am feeds, had headaches from the random screaming and no longer got weirded out by unidentified substances after having to change diapers and finding out just what goes on inside the body of someone so small. 

After dinner, Leo had his bath time, and Steve promised him he'd get him a fleet of ships and submarines to fill the bath with his own personal Navy and now here they were, putting him to bed in the crib that Danny had assembled that afternoon. Luckily, he'd been able to order a ton of things to arrive at the house that day and there was cardboard boxes and packaging taking up a lot of trash space in the garage.

"Do you sing to him or something?" Steve asked as he leaned on the corner of the crib and watched Leo's hands wave around as he lay there. "I mean, how does he know to go to sleep?"

"He's tired, trust me, he'll sleep," Danny said as he reached in and ran a finger over Leo's cheek. "And he knows because the lights go down and he gets quiet time."

"But-" Steve started, not wanting Danny to pull him away from the sight of his son. 

"If you stand here and watch him like a creeper, he'll know. Then he won't sleep and he'll get cranky and I do not want a cranky baby. He'll need fed in a few hours and he'll let us know when that is, trust me."

"Yeah, I do, I just, I'm excited," Steve said as he finally allowed himself to be led away. "I just met him, I want to know everything about him."

"And you'll do that as you go along. He doesn't come with a manual and there's no classified intel that I can hand over in a dossier," Danny all but laughed at Steve as they collapsed onto the couch. 

"Shouldn't your mom be home by now?" Steve asked, changing the subject. 

"Thing about my mom is that she finds entertaining herself a pretty easy task. And she probably got caught up having a good time with Lou and his family. I trust him to take good care of her, if there's a problem, he'll call."

"Yeah, okay. I guess I want to thank her, for giving us this time. You know, just the two of us and Leo."

"That's why she did it," Danny patted Steve's thigh. 

Steve turned and shuffled a little closer to Danny, bringing an arm up over the back of the couch and leaning his head on an upturned hand. "What was it like? Giving birth? Seeing him for the first time?"

"Well, they gave me really good drugs and it's not like I pushed him out. They cut me open so it was like having an operation because the indigestion got so bad your stomach rejected the food you ate and you couldn't throw it up properly." He frowned at his own analogy.

"But seeing him? This little thing that was created with half of you and half of me?"

"Yeah, he…I was so scared, going in. When I knew he was coming I kept thinking that my questions were going to be answered and I didn't know if I was ready but I had no choice. Then I just thought about the pain, and then the worry about being surrounded by doctors and having the procedure and what that entailed. And then they cleaned him up and handed me this little wrapped bundle and he knew who I was and he was perfect. I think I knew then before the tests were carried out."

"That he was mine?"

"Yeah. He just has something about him. Like he kind of looks like me, you know, but this personality that shines through is much more like you. I could see it in him even then."

"I'm still not even sure how you could do the paternity tests. I mean, no one ever asked me for a DNA sample or anything."

"The Clinic is pretty much Government funded and you? Well, you are, were, whatever, a Government killing machine. They probably have those things on file somewhere."

"True," Steve nodded. He lifted his head from his hand and reached out to touch Danny's shoulder. "Why didn't you tell us what happened in Colombia?"

"I did," Danny argued. "I didn't tell you _everything_ , but what I did say was the truth. Everything in the reports happened. I just… missed out a few details."

"You still could have told me. Off the record, as a friend or more or… I would have liked the opportunity to support you."

"I couldn't. Not then. I was struggling and I think talking it out with you was probably the worst thing I could have imagined. Not because of trust or wondering if you'd hate me or anything," he added hastily. "But because you and I are so close, I didn't want you to have to support me. I didn't want to bring us down. And talking about it just felt like I'd be bringing it all back up again and I just wanted it buried."

"I get that," Steve nodded, letting Danny take things at his own speed.

"When I talked about it in therapy, it was good, it felt like a release, like I didn't have to hide it, but I also thought saying it once was enough and I'd never have to do it again."

"If you're not ready, if you don't want to, you don't have to," Steve told him. 

"No, I think I should," Danny looked at him carefully, psyching himself up for it.

He took his time, there was a heavy silence in the room and even straining to listen to Leo moving in his cot ten feet or so away was difficult. He didn't really know where to start.

"I was beaten pretty quickly. The guards pulled them off, told me if I wanted protection then I had to pay them. I told them I'd get money but I phoned Grace instead. They didn't like that and so they beat me in return."

"That much I know," Steve put in quietly, not wanting to get in the way of Danny's flow.

"I know, but it's important," he replied, then took in a deep breath before continuing. "I was in a cell, it was big, pretty well populated, maybe six or seven of us in there. One of the guys, the leader or whatever, he could tell that I was worse than when the guards took me away, he put two and two together. He said I didn't need the guards' help. In order to survive I'd need _**his**_ and he could do me a deal and if I didn't have money he'd get something else from me instead."

He reached out and grasped Steve's hand. 

"It's not that I was desperate for the protection, but I knew I wouldn't survive there without some kind of ally. A part of me didn't care, figured dying quickly was a perfectly suitable punishment for what I'd done, but another part of me said to hold out. That maybe you'd work out a way to get me free and I'd be able to go back to Grace and she wouldn't be left without her father- without her father being branded a murderer, forgetting all the other things I'd done and focusing on that _**one thing**_ , that one moment when I made a split second decision to pull that trigger."

"Everything you did with Reyes was justified, Danno."

"Debatable," Danny grimaced. "But I don't think of myself as a murderer, not anymore. But the point is that back then I did. But I figured, I'd give it a little bit of time. Dying quickly was a cop out and wouldn't really punish me." He shrugged. "I figured, take the guy's offer. Give it a little bit of time and if there really was no hope? Then I could let something happen, give up and get myself beaten to death. So for the couple of days I spent in there before they came to tell me they'd got it all wrong, I let him use me when he stopped others from trying to get to me."

Danny finished. His eyes were watery but he wouldn't cry. In many ways, it felt like these things had happened to someone else. When he told it, it was like spinning a tale, not going through his own memories. Early on he'd worked out a way to cope and that was to push it aside, to see it in his head like a movie playing, to think of it as not him. Or a him in another lifetime. Him, but removed from himself.

"How many times?" Steve asked, quiet but with a touch of menace. Danny finally looked more closely at him, could see the wheels turning trying to work out how he could get to the guy and rip his testicles off for touching Danny. 

"I dunno. Three, four.. maybe five, if you count when he wanted me to suck him off."

Steve shook his head. "I should never have let you leave the Island. I should have made you get the lawyers or hell, block all the runways off of Oahu and shut down the ports."

"I've come to terms with it now, it's okay," Danny reassured him.

"Maybe. But it should never have happened. And on top of it all, it sent you to that Clinic thinking for nine months that maybe _**he'd**_ been the one to get you pregnant. Because of him, I missed out on going through all that stuff with you, I missed the pregnancy and the birth, and the first five months of Leo's life. There's a Clinic on the Island. If that hadn't happened you'd have gone through it all _here_. With me. I'd have been right there beside you."

Steve was upset, visibly so. His hand shook in Danny's. He'd been expecting this, for Steve to be annoyed about missing out, on finding out after the birth that he was a father, about Danny running away and not telling him anything. But he'd expected the anger to be unleashed on _him_ , not on the inmate who'd taken advantage of him, It seemed Steve was funneling all his frustrations into a Colombian prison cell. And at himself, for not doing more at the time.

"I hate that I didn't know," Steve said, and Danny felt his heart sink. 

"I never meant to lie, I didn't want to. I know that's no consolation, especially considering your mother… but I'm telling you everything now. And if you ask, I'll not hold anything back. No secrets, no lies. No shady misdirection. And no more running off without a trace."

"Come here," Steve beckoned and Danny moved over on the couch, sprawled between Steve's legs and they lay, Steve's back propped up in the corner and Danny's back pressed into his chest with Steve's arm wrapped low on Danny's stomach.

Kisses were pressed into his hair, then his neck and shoulder, Steve's hand rubbing at his stomach, clutching into the material of his shirt and starting to pull it aside.

"I'm not sure we should be doing this," he murmured tiredly, enjoying the feeling of being in Steve's arms.

"Because Leo is in the next room and your mom could come home any minute?" Steve asked, a smile ghosting against Danny's ear. 

"Because we said we'd take it slow."

"Slow doesn't mean stopping. Nothing wrong with picking up where we left off and that, if I recall, was sleeping together more and more often."

Danny reached back and patted Steve's check. "That's right. But I flew all the way from New York yesterday. And I've been taking care of a baby for five months. I'm exhausted."

Steve pressed his cheek to Danny's and hugged him close. "Well, you've got me now to share the load. And I'm not going anywhere either."


	3. Chapter 3

After a couple of days, it was finally decided to have a night round at Danny's with the team. It was an opportunity for them to properly meet Leo and to ask all the questions they could think of. Danny wasn't stupid, he knew they'd have them. And he'd suspected, considering the 'spiritual' nature of most Hawaiians, that Chin and Kono would buy into all the mystical importance crap that was laid at the feet of men like him. 

When he'd first arrived on the Island and discovered all that kind of thing, it had cemented his desire to keep what he was a secret. 

Though Lou, being a Chicago native, he hoped would have more sense.

Turns out, he was kind of wrong. Chin took it all in his stride, didn't push, didn't see it as being his business and was respectful. Kono was insatiably curious but about the process and how his body worked more than anything else. And it was Lou who raised the more metaphysical questions and asked him how he saw himself inside that ideal.

Then Kono mentioned being saddened to have missed out on the pregnancy. She'd meant it mostly as a joke, though her true emotion of simply missing Danny and the notion that had he been there, there'd have been an excitement around it all that would have been infectious, shined through. 

Which left the door wide open for someone, Lou in this case, to put his foot in it and ask if Danny, and Steve by extension, would consider having more kids. 

The room had gone quiet, the elephant unmistakeable, and Danny was left with no other option than to answer vaguely with a 'we'll see', earning him a big fat grin from Steve that made his stomach flip.

After that night, life had mostly been about Steve, Danny and Leo bonding together. Clara left after the first week once she was sure Danny was settled in and his support structure was, well, supportive. The house was looking good, Leo had everything he needed for the moment and people kept buying him more stuff. Especially clothes. He figured at this rate he might never have to buy the little man any himself.

Steve's renovations were coming along, but he was still working full time in an unforgiving job while Danny was able to take some extra time off before going back. Still, Leo's room had been gutted and painted. In the next week, Steve had planned to get everything put in place and he'd already made great strides in making the home kid friendly. In some ways, it was unrecognizable from how his father had it, littered now as it was with brightly colored plastic toys and books.

By the end of his second week back on the Island, Danny was getting restless. He loved spending his life with Leo and Grace, but his sense of responsibility in other directions was kicking in. Now that he was here, he had so many other people to rely on who wanted to take Leo off his hands for a little bit and he was very grateful for it. He wasn't quite ready to put him in any kind of daycare, but the odd hour here and there with Auntie's who had raised many kids and knew what they were doing, was blessed relief. 

But today he headed into the office with Leo in tow. He didn't plan to be there for long, he just wanted to get caught up on what had been happening over the past year, get familiar with cases, especially if there were any unsolved ones or any that might have a lasting impact, just so he knew what was going on should anything rear its head later. 

When he arrived at the Hale everything had seemed fine; the weather was good, there didn't seem to be many people milling around beyond the regular tourists getting pictures of the King Kamehameha statue and the Iolani Palace across the street and he had Leo in the stroller and the diaper bag over his shoulder when he heard the shout of his name. 

He turned to see three people coming his way. 

He frowned. Three people with microphones, cameras… he ignored them and walked more briskly until he could get to the entrance. He warned security not to let them in and got through the metal detectors amidst more calling of his name and randomly shouted questions about his son and his relationship with Steve.

He'd started the day in such a good mood but now? Now that was ruined and he stomped to the office trying not to let that mood rub off on Leo - the kid was a sponge when it came to reading a room and the last thing he needed was to have an upset six-month old baby in his arms. 

"Hey," he yelled as he got in, searching out his partner. "Hey, we need to talk."

Steve turned, brought his phone away from his ear and looked to Danny in relief. "I was just calling you."

Danny took one hand and patted his pockets. "Crap. Phone must still be in the car. You trying to warn me that the news hounds are on our tail?"

"Yeah, I just got word from a friend at the Star-Advertiser. He owed me one. Said he called the minute it came across his desk. Are you okay?" He leaned into the stroller, checking Leo over and then entertaining him with silly faces.

"Yeah, we made it inside before the vultures could get anything. But they're not going to be happy until they get their story. I don't want Leo hounded like this. The last thing I need is religious nut jobs getting in touch with me thinking our son is some kind of messiah figure, or devil spawn and it will happen, Steve. it always does with guys like me and don't try to tell me it doesn't 'cause I've always kept track of these things. And in the Clinic… well, they prepare us for this kind of thing. I never wanted that for me, my baby, my family…." he paced away a little then back, a hand scrubbing through his hair. 

"Hey, we'll figure it out, it's okay," Steve kept one hand curled around the stroller handle and wrapped the other around Danny's shoulders and reeled him in. 

"They'll have a field day with this. A cop and a decorated Navy SEAL, the fact that we're partners in the Governor's task force. I have no idea what they'll make of me leaving the Island for a year and I refuse to let them find out about Colombia."

"They won't. We'll give them enough so that they won't go digging, we'll come up with a reason for you going home for the birth."

Lou and Chin came into the main area from one of the offices, a tablet computer in Chin's hand and he slid documents onto the main screens while Lou filled them in. 

"It's already hit the online news sites. Mostly just on the Island so far but it won't take long to hit national headlines. Considering all the crap going on in the world, bets are they're going to treat it as a human interest story."

"Whether we want them to or not," Danny sighed, giving in to the inevitable. "They don't think of the consequences of what they're doing, bringing attention to us like this. The crazies will come out of the woodwork."

"On the plus side, any crazies try anything and we've got the technology to find them and a Navy SEAL to deal with them," Chin cocked an eyebrow and Danny didn't miss the reference to Steve's fiercely protective instincts when it came to Leo. And Grace.

"Where's Kono?" Danny asked, looking around for her.

"She's downstairs dealing with some things," Chin answered with a shrug and concentrated on the screens above them. 

Danny pointed outside and then to Chin as he considered his words and worked out the hidden meaning. "Did you sic her on the reporters?" he asked.

Chin gave a half smile. "Something like that."

"Ouch," Danny replied and saw Lou's eyebrow arch in agreement. 

Danny leaned over the computer table and stared up at the array of sites Chin and Lou had found. All of them bearing headlines that said Steve and Danny were parents, they'd had a biological child, rumors mentioned Danny having been the one to give birth considering his absence from the team and there was a bunch of stock pictures of the two of them together from old press conferences, Steve's Navy photo and Danny's from Newark PD. He squinted at one website that extolled how the two men must both be special to have produced a child… it harked on about their careers, their successes, and said God must have shined down on them and that their baby was destined for great things. 

He groaned. It had begun. The exact thing he didn't want. The reason he figured he'd never be the one in a relationship to have kids. Grace had come through the more conventional way since he was with a woman. Rachel didn't even know he had this ability. And Leo wouldn't have happened anyway if he hadn't been stupid enough to think he was safe on his suppressants, that the odds weren't high, that doing it just a few times without any other protection wouldn't matter.

Not that he would trade Leo for the world, but he had certainly been an accident. There was no denying that. 

Steve leaned into the stroller and scooped Leo out, pulling him close and rocking him as he'd begun to get antsy in his confines. "Okay, I already asked HPD to take a sweep past our houses, make sure no one was there. They said they'd let me know if anything happens. In the meantime, we can put together a press release. A birth announcement. Maybe attach some kind of family photo. Control the narrative. Ask them to give us our privacy."

"Okay," Danny agreed, moving closer, fingers tickling at Leo's chest. "So much for getting work done today, instead we're chasing our tails on all this stuff."

Steve kissed Danny's head. "Once they get what they want, they'll leave us alone, it's fine."

They moved into Steve's office, grabbed his laptop and sat together and the couch with Leo between them, intermittently in each others' arms or playing on the floor on the mat Danny had brought with him.

After a few hours filled with distractions, they'd pieced something together, confirming Danny as the one who gave birth, saying that he'd been injured while on a case and had gone to the Clinic in New York to make sure the baby was okay and would be born healthy. They talked about how proud they were, how happy that Leo was joining their Ohana, and asked that they be given privacy, and respect. That they wanted to raise Leo in a safe environment away from media scrutiny.

If it were up to Danny, he'd not have been so polite about it and would have gone off on one about how ridiculous he thought people were being. It was just biology, just a thing he could do, that he was born with. He'd have told them about how he'd been scared of it growing up and that was because of the way the media and crazy people would invade the lives of people like him. That the idea of normal that he'd strived for was stupid and unattainable.

But he wouldn't. Because saying those kinds of things would bring more attention and the point was to make them go away. 

They sent everything off to the Governor's press secretary to deal with and hoped that when it came time to go home, the vultures would have left them alone. 

And alone they were when they left later that day. Whether their release had done the trick or Hale security was just that good, they weren't sure, but it was a relief.

By the time they got to Danny's house, Leo was hungry. Steve fed him - getting his shirt covered in baby food in the process - then decided to join Leo for bath time. Steve had high hopes that his love of the water was going to be passed down the generation, so he filled the bathtub and sat in the bubbly water with Leo while Danny sat on the toilet seat and made fun of them, putting handfuls of the bubbles on both their heads and taking a blackmail photo or two with his phone. 

The promised fleet of bath toys had arrived bit by bit over the last few weeks and adorned the rim of the tub and Leo batted at them, watching them sink and pop back up again with glee.

Danny put Leo to bed and came out to find Steve drying his hair with a towel, sweat pants the only thing he was wearing, slung low on his hips. That was when Danny noticed that the reason they were slung so low was because they were quite short. They were Danny's.

He frowned and beckoned Steve closer. "Come 'ere."

Steve smoothed the towel out, taking hold of each end and then used it like a lasso once he was close enough, throwing it around Danny's waist and pulling him close. "Yes, dear?" he asked, a smile playing on his lips.

Danny fidgeted with the waistband of the sweats. "Maybe you should bring more of your stuff over. I swear you've been here more than your own house."

"This is where Leo is," Steve shrugged. "And you," he gave Danny's lips a quick peck. "And they're surprisingly comfortable."

"They're too short on you, you look like an idiot," Danny shot back with an amused smile while Steve just kissed him again. 

The sound of the front door opening pulled their attention as Grace came in, dropped her bag on the floor, took one look at the two of them and made to walk straight back out again.

"Hey, hold it young lady, where are you going?" Danny asked, turning to her and feeling Steve's hands on his hips from behind. 

"Outside to throw up," she answered and Steve ducked his head into Danny's neck as he snorted a laugh.

He let go and slowly wandered closer to where Grace was. "So when I kiss Danno it's so gross that you lose your lunch?"

"Something like that," she answered as he pressed the door closed above her head. 

"Uh-huh," he said, then quick as a flash, wrapped arms around her and attacked her with kisses. They tumbled onto the couch together. "Is it gross when I do it to you? Huh?"

She squealed with laughter and Danny had to come closer. "Hey, hey, you'll wake the baby!" He thwacked his hand off the top of Steve's head, who twisted, falling off the side of the couch but protected Grace as she landed on top of him. 

"Sorry, Danno," he said and Grace repeated it, biting the smile from her lips.

"Dinner will be ready in ten minutes, you, go clean up," he pointed at Grace. "And you, put on a shirt and go set the table," he told Steve.

"Why do I have to set the table?" he pouted for effect as he let Grace up.

"Because I cooked it."

"No, you took it out the packaging and put it in the oven," he answered and they heard Grace laugh as she turned into her room.

"Do you want to eat tonight? Because you don't have to," he warned. 

Steve laughed, sidled closer again and spoke low in Danny's ear. "I want dinner and I want dessert."

"We don't have dessert."

Steve licked Danny's neck. "You taste good… the perfect after dinner delight."

Danny pulled back and gave Steve a pointed look. "Except there is a baby in a cot in the same room we sleep in and a thirteen year old down the hall that I don't want to traumatize."

Steve growled. "I love our kids very much, but we need to get a babysitter soon or I'm going to go nuts," he ran the back of his fingers down Danny's chest.

"This is what happens. The sex life becomes a scheduled event. Get used to it," he patted Steve's arm and reminded him to get things organized for dinner and check on Leo.

He turned on the TV, keeping the volume low and tuned it to the local news channel, curiosity getting the better of him. He grimaced as he saw their names on the crawler and left it on while he began plating up dinner. 

Sure enough, the story came around on the screen and he watched as they showed footage of the two of them, used elements of their press release and the Governor's input to spin everything. As expected, they'd kept the story light and in the vein of 'good news' but he cringed at seeing himself exposed like this, and worried about who might latch onto it.

He changed the channel, switching it to one of the national stations, wanting to know if it had spread that far yet. As rare as male pregnancies were, as 'revered' as they were, it may not be important enough to rank nationally if something else had happened out there in the world, and he found himself suddenly hoping for a disaster so that it bumped their story.

Steve reappeared. "Anything?" he asked, pointing to the screen.

"Only local," Danny answered. 

"Hopefully it stays that way," Steve put in as he set the three places. When Grace came back, she helped finish setting everything and they were able to sit down and enjoy their meal like the true family they'd become. 

Danny found himself considering these things at times. Steve had always loved being with Grace but he'd been making an extra effort with her since Leo had arrived on the scene - not wanting her to feel left out or that he cared less because Leo was his own and Grace was a surrogate daughter. Even after just a few weeks, the routine they'd landed themselves in felt good, felt like they'd been doing it forever, which made the living arrangements they'd decided on more difficult.

He refused to rush, no matter how good it felt. And he did struggle to sleep at Steve's place because of the noises outside and that was something that would still need to be a factor if they considered moving there, which definitely made sense on paper considering Steve owned the house and Danny was renting his. 

But, at the same time, he liked this house, he would hate uprooting everyone again. And he could always put in an offer to buy.

They'd made their decisions quickly - when Danny had Grace, everyone stayed at Danny's house. When she was with Rachel, Leo (and Danny) would go to Steve's. There was always the option for Steve to stay at his own place any time he wanted and vice versa. They didn't always have to be together, but both were reluctant to be away from their children at this stage, so Danny had already suffered through a few nights at Steve's unable to get decent sleep. But considering he had a six month old baby, that was going to happen anyway.

They'd worry about it down the line, but having things at two different houses no more than twenty minutes apart would get draining. If their relationship had staying power, eventually they'd need to consider moving in together. And if Steve wanted another child, which seemed likely going by how he'd looked when the topic had been broached before, then they'd really need to settle down properly. Together. Steve and Danny and 2.4 children. It was hard to believe, and Danny would have laughed if he'd been told this when they'd met.

Did he want another child though? Three kids? Well, his parents had four, one of his sisters had three boys, he now had two… the Williams family was a big one. But would he go through pregnancy again? Leo had been tough. Despite his anatomy, men really weren't built for it, that's why they relied so heavily on the Clinics these days. It was no wonder that until the last hundred years or less, infant mortality was high in male pregnancies, not to mention the death rate for the men giving birth. He could understand that there was a genuine reason why they used to celebrate the successes, but modern technology helped enough that things like these stupid news stories shouldn't be necessary.

He was roused by his thoughts at the sound of a restless Leo through the baby monitors. 

"I'll get him," Steve jumped up from his seat, shoved another big forkful of food into his mouth and wiped haphazardly as he stood to go.

"Chew your food. Like a normal person. Please," Danny called over his shoulder and was waved off as Steve disappeared. He turned to Grace. "How was studying at Lucy's."

"Good," she answered. "I thought I might ask Uncle Steve for some help. It's chemistry and he's good at that stuff and I really want to bring my grade up."

"I'm sure he'll be happy to. Just remember the rule in this house about grades."

She sighed and answered in a practiced way. "If my grades are higher than yours were, then you'll be extremely proud because it means the Williams' are getting smarter."

"And you know I got a D in math, so you're already doing much better than I ever did. Getting the odd B isn't the end of the world, monkey."

"I know, but I want all As. It's important for college."

"You're thirteen, there's plenty of time to worry about college when you're older. I thought we agreed you were going to stop aging and stay my little monkey forever."

"Daaaad," she whined, both of them used to having this conversation. 

"How is he?" Danny asked as Steve returned.

"He's fine, just needed changing. Bagsy not it next time."

Grace's hand shot up. "Bagsy not it, either."

"Both of you will do what I tell you to. I'm in charge."

"Since when?" Steve asked, pushing his emptied plate away.

"Since always."

"But Uncle Steve always drives your car."

"An anomaly," he kissed Grace's head. "Homework time, Steve will come in to check your work in a little bit and then you can watch your stuff on the DVR."

"Okay," Grace bounced off to her room.

When he looked back at Steve it was to see a beaming smile on his face. "What's the look?"

"No look. I'm just happy," he shrugged. "These past few weeks have been amazing. Hard work, but amazing. I never thought I'd have all this and now that I do, I don't want it to ever end. I found what was missing from my life. You know I'm going to do everything I can to protect all this, right?"

Danny moved over to where Steve was still sitting and kissed his head like he had done with Grace, rubbing his back. "I know, babe."


End file.
